I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
