i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
