i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
false alarm, still single
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
