i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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