How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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