She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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