in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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