YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
