he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Boobs are out for the taking
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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