There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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