I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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