Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
