apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
