8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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