I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
