so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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