They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
