went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
