The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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