i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
