I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
