I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
