Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
