he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
