K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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