Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
