you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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