ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
...so i touched it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
