More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
