Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
