just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sorry my hands just texted you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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