Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
