wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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