Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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