Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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