I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
