please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
