i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
