I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
