he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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