She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
