Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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