thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
