until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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