like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
