spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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