We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My vagina just recognized that song.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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