I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
