it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
