I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
