My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
